That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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