we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
