Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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