he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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