garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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