Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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