i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
