im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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