Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
