these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
