There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
