Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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