Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i out mim tonsoeep
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
