I didn't shave. On purpose
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
