hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
handjob tips. give me some.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
