Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
