I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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