I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
