Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
