this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
