Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
