Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
