stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
