I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Can I color on your dick again?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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