I bet he comes in French.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
