Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
