i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
