Are we in a gay sports bar?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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