I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
