Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
