I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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