I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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