There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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