my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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