His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
