maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
