You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i barfeds in our rink
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
