You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
