Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
