sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
