Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
