You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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