The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
