Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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