Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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