don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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