hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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