Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
