Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
