The brown eye won't let me do that either.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
