I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
